A milestone I never thought I'd reach and still be feeling symptoms.
My fellow Karate classmates have been asking when I'll be "cleared" to come back to class. Honestly I'm not under any medical restrictions; it all boils down to lingering fatigue and I've got it in spades!
Just this past Monday I stayed home from work because I couldn't walk straight when I got up, or string two words together coherently. That miserable day of special hell was the culmination of a lot of me-not-taking-care-of-myself though.
You see, last week was my first week of working 8-hour days again (finally!). I could feel myself slipping by about Wednesday, but I was determined to push through (hadn't it been bloody long enough already?). By Friday I was beat and asked to go home an hour early. Honestly I was surprised I'd made it that far. I made it home safely and immediately laid down for a half hour. I was too tired to sleep, but it felt so good to not have to be a functional human for a little while.
I had hoped to get some rest over Easter weekend, but I really should have known better as I was going to my mother's house for the holiday. I love that woman to pieces but there's a few things working against anyone thinking they can convalesce at her place:
1) There's no guest room. You can sleep on the hide-a-bed in the living room or in her room. Though her room has a door, there's no point in closing it as the cats and dog will freak out no matter what side of the door they're on.
2) Her dog likes me.
Her dogs sleeps with me at night.
Her dog snores louder than a creature his size should.
3) Mom is not a quiet person. My mother has a voice that carries and the house has a pretty open floor plan. She's also been very distracted lately, so five minutes after I laid down for a much-needed nap on Sunday afternoon she called out, "It's 46 degrees outside!"
Thanks Mom, didn't really care. Trying to sleep and all.
Five minutes after that she made some other pointless observation or asked a question.
I wanted to cry.
Fortunately exhaustion *did* allow me to sleep eventually but it wasn't enough (<sobbing> it's never enough!)
So I went into this week running on fumes and on Monday I crashed...into my bed and there I stayed all day. Fortunately I felt worlds better yesterday and today I've felt better still, but just to provide a point of reference: the fatigue I feel today would have been worrying in my pre-mono days and it likely would have sent me home early to rest while guzzling down copious amounts of orange juice. (Now backtrack that to two days ago!)
Post-mono though it's just a fact of life. And a relatively good day to boot as I don't have one of those lovely fatigue headaches to go along with it!
One of the nice things though is the fatigue I've been feeling lately has been different from the "heavy", oppressive fatigue I had experienced earlier in my illness. This fatigue feels more "normal"; it just doesn't ever seem to want to go away.
Just today I was contemplating saying "screw it!", throwing caution to the wind and starting my morning exercise routine back up (easing into it of course, but finally starting to at least do my stretches again). Cooler heads prevailed though and I did a little online research.
Sadly, experiencing lingering fatigue even 3+ months out is considered normal within the scope of mono and everyone, EVERYONE said "DON'T PUSH IT!". "The fatigue is your body telling you that you still need to take it easy. Heed the warning and TAKE IT EASY!"
*sniff*
So I'll be good (...or as good as I'm capable) and not pick my exercises back up just yet. I'll continue to "take it easy" (try not to laugh too hard please). I'm still going to keep up these 8-hour days at work because I really can't afford it monetarily to stay home and do "nothing"; but I'll stay away from my extracurricular activities a little longer.
And mono sucks.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Life with Mono - Week 6
Today marks the sixth week since I came down with mono.
Of course I didn't know what it was at the time. We were doing warm-ups in Karate class and a quick change in the intensity of the work-out sent my heart into disconcerting palpitations and I felt too weak to stand. I sat the rest of the class out, sipping water and trying to get my breathing and heart rate back under control.
The next morning my lungs were no longer on fire but my heart was still a little "poundy" well into the day. I had no energy (which surprised me, usually a good night's sleep solves such problems).
As the days went by with little to no improvement, I thought there was something wrong with my blood pressure so I bought an at-home automatic blood pressure cuff and checked my pressures daily. The numbers were perfectly fine though. Still, I couldn't shake the oppressive fatigue or the fact that my heart would go nuts if I stood for too long or did any level of physical activity. I'd even get winded if I spoke for too long. I couldn't lay down on my sides and slouching wasn't too comfy either.
Being the little hypochondriac that I am, my mind raced through a whole slew of possibilities: something wrong with my heart, something wrong with my lungs. I'm genetically predisposed to blood clots (though I've never had one), maybe I had a clot in my lungs that I didn't know about?
Finally after a full week of not getting better I went to the Urgent Care to get looked at. Any answers were better than no answers. Fortunately the doctor was determined to figure out my problem. He ordered all the tests he could think of, and then almost as an afterthought he said, "Let's do a test for mono too."
My husband and I snickered at that. "Mono? At my age?" Hey, whatever makes you happy pal.
Turns out that was the only test to come back positive. Everything else proved I'm in perfect health.
I was told that mono is incredibly catchy and that I could have picked it up anywhere - even a grocery cart handle! There's no medications for it and the only treatment is rest. I was given a three-day leave of absence from work (giving me five days off as that took it to the weekend) and sent on my way.
Knowing what was wrong was great in that I at least had a time frame of how long I'd be laid up for: minimum two weeks; could be as much as three months though (or longer?); but it didn't make dealing with the symptoms much easier.
I delegated the bulk of the household chores to my husband and slept and slept and slept some more.
I returned to work the following week and things went along pretty hunky-dory for two weeks. I still had no energy for Karate or Tai Chi. I still had no tolerance for standing for any length of time, but I could finally sleep on my left side again and after a while could even slouch in perfect comfort (yay?), and I was acclimating to the fairly constant fatigue (so that's how parents of young children do it!).
By last week though I realized I couldn't even function on that level.
I had to scale it back at work to half-days as I realized if I get over-tired I'm done for well into the next day!
My employer has been exceptionally accommodating though: my boss hooked me up with a laptop that allows me remote access to my work computer. The present routine now is that I go to work in the morning and put in four hours. Then I come home, get some lunch and lay down for an hour and a half to two hour nap (and I sleep!). Then I get up, have some dinner, and remote in for a couple hours. It's not a full eight hour day, but it's better than nothing.
Even six weeks in, my energy levels are still shot. I still tire freakishly easy and I still sleep like the dead (no really, I've slept through calls to the house phone which typically wake me under normal conditions!) At this point I seem to be in a holding pattern: I'm not getting much better, but I'm not really getting worse either.
I had to see my doctor last week to get her written approval for the half-days at work, and I'll see her again next week for some follow-up blood work to see how things are going.
I'm seriously hoping this week marks a turning point for me.
Today was the first day I didn't need a nap in the afternoon and I actually got a lot done today after work without feeling horribly drained.
Whether this is the start of an improvement or not, all I know is mono sucks!
Of course I didn't know what it was at the time. We were doing warm-ups in Karate class and a quick change in the intensity of the work-out sent my heart into disconcerting palpitations and I felt too weak to stand. I sat the rest of the class out, sipping water and trying to get my breathing and heart rate back under control.
The next morning my lungs were no longer on fire but my heart was still a little "poundy" well into the day. I had no energy (which surprised me, usually a good night's sleep solves such problems).
As the days went by with little to no improvement, I thought there was something wrong with my blood pressure so I bought an at-home automatic blood pressure cuff and checked my pressures daily. The numbers were perfectly fine though. Still, I couldn't shake the oppressive fatigue or the fact that my heart would go nuts if I stood for too long or did any level of physical activity. I'd even get winded if I spoke for too long. I couldn't lay down on my sides and slouching wasn't too comfy either.
Being the little hypochondriac that I am, my mind raced through a whole slew of possibilities: something wrong with my heart, something wrong with my lungs. I'm genetically predisposed to blood clots (though I've never had one), maybe I had a clot in my lungs that I didn't know about?
Finally after a full week of not getting better I went to the Urgent Care to get looked at. Any answers were better than no answers. Fortunately the doctor was determined to figure out my problem. He ordered all the tests he could think of, and then almost as an afterthought he said, "Let's do a test for mono too."
My husband and I snickered at that. "Mono? At my age?" Hey, whatever makes you happy pal.
Turns out that was the only test to come back positive. Everything else proved I'm in perfect health.
I was told that mono is incredibly catchy and that I could have picked it up anywhere - even a grocery cart handle! There's no medications for it and the only treatment is rest. I was given a three-day leave of absence from work (giving me five days off as that took it to the weekend) and sent on my way.
Knowing what was wrong was great in that I at least had a time frame of how long I'd be laid up for: minimum two weeks; could be as much as three months though (or longer?); but it didn't make dealing with the symptoms much easier.
I delegated the bulk of the household chores to my husband and slept and slept and slept some more.
I returned to work the following week and things went along pretty hunky-dory for two weeks. I still had no energy for Karate or Tai Chi. I still had no tolerance for standing for any length of time, but I could finally sleep on my left side again and after a while could even slouch in perfect comfort (yay?), and I was acclimating to the fairly constant fatigue (so that's how parents of young children do it!).
By last week though I realized I couldn't even function on that level.
I had to scale it back at work to half-days as I realized if I get over-tired I'm done for well into the next day!
My employer has been exceptionally accommodating though: my boss hooked me up with a laptop that allows me remote access to my work computer. The present routine now is that I go to work in the morning and put in four hours. Then I come home, get some lunch and lay down for an hour and a half to two hour nap (and I sleep!). Then I get up, have some dinner, and remote in for a couple hours. It's not a full eight hour day, but it's better than nothing.
Even six weeks in, my energy levels are still shot. I still tire freakishly easy and I still sleep like the dead (no really, I've slept through calls to the house phone which typically wake me under normal conditions!) At this point I seem to be in a holding pattern: I'm not getting much better, but I'm not really getting worse either.
I had to see my doctor last week to get her written approval for the half-days at work, and I'll see her again next week for some follow-up blood work to see how things are going.
I'm seriously hoping this week marks a turning point for me.
Today was the first day I didn't need a nap in the afternoon and I actually got a lot done today after work without feeling horribly drained.
Whether this is the start of an improvement or not, all I know is mono sucks!
Friday, January 29, 2016
The Kai'us Numbering System
(Sorry for the crazy formatting, not quite sure why it's coming out that way...)
For those who don't know (which would be everyone except maybe one or two of you) the Kai'us numbering system has given me heartburn for years (approaching decades really). You'd think it'd be easy: Kai'us' have four digits on each hand (three fingers and a thumb), so it's always made sense that their numbers would be based on fours and eights instead of our fives and tens.
Wanting to make my life as easy as possible I decided to give them just four numbers: meu, leu, deu & sheu
Written as such:
/ = meu (1)
// = leu (2)
/// = deu (3)
//// = sheu (4)
Not too complicated.
Wanna go past that? Add a dot after the character:
/• = meu'ah (5)
//• = leu'ah (6)
///• = deu'ah (7)
////• = sheu'ah (8)
9-12 have the dot (and the "ah" sound) in front, and 13-16 have a dot in both the front and end of the character (so 16 would be •////• "ah'sheu'ah")
All of that's been the same since college.
For those who don't know (which would be everyone except maybe one or two of you) the Kai'us numbering system has given me heartburn for years (approaching decades really). You'd think it'd be easy: Kai'us' have four digits on each hand (three fingers and a thumb), so it's always made sense that their numbers would be based on fours and eights instead of our fives and tens.
Wanting to make my life as easy as possible I decided to give them just four numbers: meu, leu, deu & sheu
Written as such:
/ = meu (1)
// = leu (2)
/// = deu (3)
//// = sheu (4)
Not too complicated.
Wanna go past that? Add a dot after the character:
/• = meu'ah (5)
//• = leu'ah (6)
///• = deu'ah (7)
////• = sheu'ah (8)
9-12 have the dot (and the "ah" sound) in front, and 13-16 have a dot in both the front and end of the character (so 16 would be •////• "ah'sheu'ah")
All of that's been the same since college.
Easy-peasy; but what to do from there?
Add prefixes!!
This is where things get flaky 'cause I can do anything from this point (and I have).
This is where things get flaky 'cause I can do anything from this point (and I have).
The pattern for the first sixteen numbers was always set to repeat but with lines added to the tops and/or bottoms of the numbers; I just never devised a good system that was easy for me to remember. Also what to call those prefixes proved difficult as I always came up with just random labels that I'd never remember.
Finally though, I came up with a method for identifying and writing out the remaining numbers that I think will actually stick in my brain and make my life easier.
(Keep in mind that these numbers hardly ever show up in the stories, I've just always felt it important to understand thoroughly and completely how Kai-us' handle numbers and math.)
After the first set of sixteen numbers you're going to add a line along the top, and the syllable "Lee" to the beginning of the number.
Yeah, 30 gets to be a mouthful, but this is much higher than most Kai'us' can count. Most only need to get up to sixteen in their day-to-day life; after that there's nouns that translate to things like "many" and "many-many" that change in quantity depending on the context and what you're "counting".
33-48 are going to do the same thing, but the line will be along the bottom.
The prefix for that set is "Du".
The "final" set (49-64) will have a slash going up from the bottom connecting with the first slash of the actual number:
The prefix is called "Sha"
So 64 would be "ah'sha'sheu'ah" (sounds like a dance) and it would look like this:
The dot can go inside the triangle if you so choose.
The beauty of all this is the naming convention.
The first set of 16 numbers has no prefix.
The second set has the syllable "Lee", as in "leu", as in the number 2 ("Lee" is also a prefix that goes before a noun to make it plural).
The third set uses "Du"; "deu"; 3. Also "u" is the next vowel in all the base numbers.
Fourth set is "Sha"; "sheu"; 4. The "ah" sound is the next vowel to arrive in the number system.
So nicely and simply we've gotten 64 numbers all named and labeled in a way that I'm sure to remember.
Awesome.
Let's keep going.
The next set of 64 numbers will all be named the same, but will have "O" in the beginning.
"O-" in the Kai'us language is a prefix to denote that something is holy, divine or really big.
As far as Kai'us society goes, we're talking really big numbers now.
The written prefix for the numbers 65-80 is two lines pointing outward, one at the top and one at the bottom. It's more or less a closing bracket ( ] ). So 65 is pronounced "o'meu".
The highest number before this prefix changes is •]|||• and is "ah'o'sheu'ah" (80)
You can also put the "o" in front if you like.
Doing this starts to sound like "wa" so this set can also be pronounced that way as well once the "ah"s start to get involved.
Set number two (81-96) will have a line coming off the top of the first slash pointing outward (rather like a 7). The Prefix is "o'lee"
The third set (97-112) has the line coming off the bottom. "O'du"
The fourth set is an upside-down "sha" (a "V" in other words) and so is "o'sha".
This gets us up to 128.
From here you can stop.
Even the Grand Chief rarely needs to count much higher than that.
If for some wild and crazy reason though you need yet another set of sixteen numbers, you're in luck.
129-144 is denoted with a line at the top and a line at the bottom pointing inward (like an opening bracket [ only longer).
This prefix is called "o'shee".
This is going to be a source of humor for those who know the name of my first WoW character which was "Oshemeu". Using pigeon Kai'us this translates to "Great One". "O-" for really big or divine; "she" is the word for "big"; and "meu" is obviously "one".
(Using correct grammar though the name "Great One" would come out as "Mu-o-she" - "One who is Great"; but that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely)
Taking this new system into account though, "o'shee'meu" is the number 129.
The interesting thing is this loops around nicely.
Remove those lines and suddenly you're back to the beginning. If you need specific numbers past that you'll just have to start adding numbers together.
The general rule is to start with the highest number that's divisible by 16 (which would be 128 or 144 typically) and add the number that gets you the rest of the way; but a person is welcome to get creative and mash together whatever two numbers will get you there based on their aesthetics.
Two hundred for instance could be broken down in many ways, but would likely be conveyed as "ah'o'she'sheu'ah esh sha'sheu'ah" which translates to "144 and 56".
Finally though, I came up with a method for identifying and writing out the remaining numbers that I think will actually stick in my brain and make my life easier.
(Keep in mind that these numbers hardly ever show up in the stories, I've just always felt it important to understand thoroughly and completely how Kai-us' handle numbers and math.)
After the first set of sixteen numbers you're going to add a line along the top, and the syllable "Lee" to the beginning of the number.
Yeah, 30 gets to be a mouthful, but this is much higher than most Kai'us' can count. Most only need to get up to sixteen in their day-to-day life; after that there's nouns that translate to things like "many" and "many-many" that change in quantity depending on the context and what you're "counting".
33-48 are going to do the same thing, but the line will be along the bottom.
The prefix for that set is "Du".
The "final" set (49-64) will have a slash going up from the bottom connecting with the first slash of the actual number:
So 64 would be "ah'sha'sheu'ah" (sounds like a dance) and it would look like this:
The beauty of all this is the naming convention.
The first set of 16 numbers has no prefix.
The second set has the syllable "Lee", as in "leu", as in the number 2 ("Lee" is also a prefix that goes before a noun to make it plural).
The third set uses "Du"; "deu"; 3. Also "u" is the next vowel in all the base numbers.
Fourth set is "Sha"; "sheu"; 4. The "ah" sound is the next vowel to arrive in the number system.
So nicely and simply we've gotten 64 numbers all named and labeled in a way that I'm sure to remember.
Awesome.
Let's keep going.
The next set of 64 numbers will all be named the same, but will have "O" in the beginning.
"O-" in the Kai'us language is a prefix to denote that something is holy, divine or really big.
As far as Kai'us society goes, we're talking really big numbers now.
The written prefix for the numbers 65-80 is two lines pointing outward, one at the top and one at the bottom. It's more or less a closing bracket ( ] ). So 65 is pronounced "o'meu".
The highest number before this prefix changes is •]|||• and is "ah'o'sheu'ah" (80)
You can also put the "o" in front if you like.
Doing this starts to sound like "wa" so this set can also be pronounced that way as well once the "ah"s start to get involved.
Set number two (81-96) will have a line coming off the top of the first slash pointing outward (rather like a 7). The Prefix is "o'lee"
The third set (97-112) has the line coming off the bottom. "O'du"
The fourth set is an upside-down "sha" (a "V" in other words) and so is "o'sha".
This gets us up to 128.
From here you can stop.
Even the Grand Chief rarely needs to count much higher than that.
If for some wild and crazy reason though you need yet another set of sixteen numbers, you're in luck.
129-144 is denoted with a line at the top and a line at the bottom pointing inward (like an opening bracket [ only longer).
This prefix is called "o'shee".
This is going to be a source of humor for those who know the name of my first WoW character which was "Oshemeu". Using pigeon Kai'us this translates to "Great One". "O-" for really big or divine; "she" is the word for "big"; and "meu" is obviously "one".
(Using correct grammar though the name "Great One" would come out as "Mu-o-she" - "One who is Great"; but that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely)
Taking this new system into account though, "o'shee'meu" is the number 129.
The interesting thing is this loops around nicely.
Remove those lines and suddenly you're back to the beginning. If you need specific numbers past that you'll just have to start adding numbers together.
The general rule is to start with the highest number that's divisible by 16 (which would be 128 or 144 typically) and add the number that gets you the rest of the way; but a person is welcome to get creative and mash together whatever two numbers will get you there based on their aesthetics.
Two hundred for instance could be broken down in many ways, but would likely be conveyed as "ah'o'she'sheu'ah esh sha'sheu'ah" which translates to "144 and 56".
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Name That Precipitation (Weather-related)
We're into that time of year where I'll overhear someone say, "Wow, it was hailing really hard last night!" and I'll mentally note that there were no thunderstorms in the area and it's really the wrong time of year for thunderstorms anyway. Then I'll realize they're talking about sleet. Totally different.
I'm rather saddened at how few people seem to know the difference between hail, sleet and freezing rain. I do understand why it may be hard to keep them straight: all three are forms of precipitation that involve rain and ice, but all three are very unique and occur under very specific conditions.
What saddens me more is that meteorologists - rather than educating the masses - are dumbing down their terminology. Intellicast no longer uses the word "sleet" in its forecasts. They now use the term "ice pellets". Though this is indeed an accurate description of sleet, it does have a name and it's called "sleet".
So, what is the difference between the three?
Glad you asked for I'm here to answer!
Hail
Conditions - Typically warmer weather; more specifically during thunderstorms.
How's it made - Inside cumulonimbus clouds (the type that produce thunderstorms).
Hail starts as rain or small ice pellets that get kicked around within the towering cloud by wind.
The proto-hail gets thrown high up into the cloud where the air is colder and a layer of ice forms around it. When it gets too heavy for the winds to hold it aloft it falls to a lower portion of the cloud just to get tossed up again for another coating of ice.
Once it's too heavy for a repeat trip upwards, it falls to the earth as an uneven blob of ice.
Hail can damage crops, vehicles, and structures. Large hail can hurt people too.
A hail fall doesn't typically last too long and the hail itself tends to melt quickly as it usually occurs in the spring and summer months when the ground temperatures are rather warm.
Hail is an indication of severe weather and its presence can herald a tornado or intense thunderstorm.
Sleet
Conditions - When surface air temperatures temperatures are below freezing, but temperatures aloft (in the clouds) are above freezing.
How's it made - Sleet starts life in the clouds as rain. As it falls to the earth it freezes into little ice pellets. Unlike hail - which looks globular in nature and can be any size, sleet is evenly shaped and small (because it's just rain that turned to ice).
Sleet can fall with just as much intensity as rain and for as long as the temperatures are favorable for it to remain ice. Sleet though can easily switch over to snow (if the air gets cold enough), or rain/freezing rain (if the air gets warmer).
Freezing Rain
Conditions - When the surface air temperatures are above freezing, but the ground and surfaces touching the ground are below freezing.
How's it made - Freezing rain is liquid rain that...well, freezes as soon as it hits something.
This forms a smooth, even coating of ice on trees, cars, the ground, anything it lands on because those surfaces are colder than the air that's just warm enough to keep it liquid.
This ice build-up can bring down power lines or cause tree limbs to fall across power lines, causing power outages. The smooth ice can also accumulate on roads making travel difficult.
So those are the three types of frozen precipitation that tend to get mixed up or used interchangeably.
Hopefully this guide will help you keep them straight so that you too can use the correct descriptions for what's falling from the sky.
I'm rather saddened at how few people seem to know the difference between hail, sleet and freezing rain. I do understand why it may be hard to keep them straight: all three are forms of precipitation that involve rain and ice, but all three are very unique and occur under very specific conditions.
What saddens me more is that meteorologists - rather than educating the masses - are dumbing down their terminology. Intellicast no longer uses the word "sleet" in its forecasts. They now use the term "ice pellets". Though this is indeed an accurate description of sleet, it does have a name and it's called "sleet".
So, what is the difference between the three?
Glad you asked for I'm here to answer!
Hail
Conditions - Typically warmer weather; more specifically during thunderstorms.
How's it made - Inside cumulonimbus clouds (the type that produce thunderstorms).
Hail starts as rain or small ice pellets that get kicked around within the towering cloud by wind.
The proto-hail gets thrown high up into the cloud where the air is colder and a layer of ice forms around it. When it gets too heavy for the winds to hold it aloft it falls to a lower portion of the cloud just to get tossed up again for another coating of ice.
Once it's too heavy for a repeat trip upwards, it falls to the earth as an uneven blob of ice.
Hail can damage crops, vehicles, and structures. Large hail can hurt people too.
A hail fall doesn't typically last too long and the hail itself tends to melt quickly as it usually occurs in the spring and summer months when the ground temperatures are rather warm.
Hail is an indication of severe weather and its presence can herald a tornado or intense thunderstorm.
Sleet
Conditions - When surface air temperatures temperatures are below freezing, but temperatures aloft (in the clouds) are above freezing.
How's it made - Sleet starts life in the clouds as rain. As it falls to the earth it freezes into little ice pellets. Unlike hail - which looks globular in nature and can be any size, sleet is evenly shaped and small (because it's just rain that turned to ice).
Sleet can fall with just as much intensity as rain and for as long as the temperatures are favorable for it to remain ice. Sleet though can easily switch over to snow (if the air gets cold enough), or rain/freezing rain (if the air gets warmer).
Freezing Rain
Conditions - When the surface air temperatures are above freezing, but the ground and surfaces touching the ground are below freezing.
How's it made - Freezing rain is liquid rain that...well, freezes as soon as it hits something.
This forms a smooth, even coating of ice on trees, cars, the ground, anything it lands on because those surfaces are colder than the air that's just warm enough to keep it liquid.
This ice build-up can bring down power lines or cause tree limbs to fall across power lines, causing power outages. The smooth ice can also accumulate on roads making travel difficult.
So those are the three types of frozen precipitation that tend to get mixed up or used interchangeably.
Hopefully this guide will help you keep them straight so that you too can use the correct descriptions for what's falling from the sky.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Looking Back on 2015, Looking Ahead to 2016
Hands down this has been the year of Karate.
I poured a lot of spirit and effort into advancing to my next rank and I couldn't be happier.
I've grown much as a martial artist this year and have even started assistant teaching Tai Chi.
At the start of the year I couldn't understand how to throw a front-snap kick to face-height. I can do it now, but not with a lot of power behind it.
Roundhouse kick with the ball of the foot? Got it.
I wanted to be able to do a full split: I'm even closer now than I was.
I wanted to be able to do 50 push-ups without stopping...okay, that goal go tweaked. I decided it was more realistic to do push-ups in smaller bursts; say 12-15. So I do a bunch of small groupings and that seems to be working well.
Next year with see my beloved Sensei retiring in January.
Though the school will continue under the tutelage of a new head instructor, I'm not sure what that will mean for my practice personally.
Torch-passing aside, my martial arts goals for next year are to:
• Improve my spinning techniques
• Get more power behind all my kicks
• I really need to continue to improve my sparring (the boxing lessons are helping)
• Need to learn more joint locks. So many more joint locks!!
If I push it, I might be able to test for my 1st Kyu rank at the end of the school year. If not then, then maybe by the end of next year. We'll see.
This year was also the year my father-in-law, Dick passed away (ironically on Independence Day).
Caring for him in his final months was a very powerful and empowering experience for me.
After his passing I was able to reclaim my house (he was living with us for a good portion of last year and all this spring, being mostly bed-bound in the last month he was living at the house).
The coming year will see my husband and I cleaning out the camp that Dick had occupied during the summer months for many, many years.
Since Dick was a hoarder, this will not be a quick or easy process; especially since the camp can only be accessed by boat. Most of our weekends this coming summer will likely be spent on that "little" project.
The other big thing that happened this year was that I participated in my final Sun-Moon Dance. (As in I completed my four-year commitment).
This year's Dance was gentle on me (thankfully) and I was able to really touch and let go of some deep pain I hadn't realized I'd been holding. It was a truly beautiful experience (as it always is).
If I participate in any Dances in the future, it'll be on the support side and I'm curious and excited to pursue that angle of the Dance.
In other news: my business partner really wants to get back into making products for our crafting business. We've both been laying low the past couple years since last year we focused on my wedding and this year I was distracted by caring for Dick and getting my next Karate rank.
Though our business (and sales) has actually grown this year, we really want to get sewn products into our inventory and we're hoping to start making bags this winter and spring.
We're also researching larger venues to sell our wares. It's pretty exciting and scary at the same time!
We both are also very much feeling the itch to belly dance again - another activity that has suffered for the past two years for the same reasons. We're looking into tumbling or adult gymnastics classes to improve our strength and flexibility and to spice up our duet dance routines even more.
On a personal level I'd like to get back into writing. I didn't participate in NaNoWriMo this year and I have no regrets on that front; but I have three projects that are languishing in various states of completion that I'd very much like to return to and guide along their way.
I also keep glancing around the edges of going back to school or getting a different job.
Not that I don't like or even love my present employment - I couldn't ask for a better job! But the pay is miserable. Taking a deep breath and plunging into something new may be in the forecast after the New Year...or not. Time will tell on that front.
So 2015 has been the year of growth.
2016 is slated to be the year of change.
We'll see what the future brings!
I poured a lot of spirit and effort into advancing to my next rank and I couldn't be happier.
I've grown much as a martial artist this year and have even started assistant teaching Tai Chi.
At the start of the year I couldn't understand how to throw a front-snap kick to face-height. I can do it now, but not with a lot of power behind it.
Roundhouse kick with the ball of the foot? Got it.
I wanted to be able to do a full split: I'm even closer now than I was.
I wanted to be able to do 50 push-ups without stopping...okay, that goal go tweaked. I decided it was more realistic to do push-ups in smaller bursts; say 12-15. So I do a bunch of small groupings and that seems to be working well.
Next year with see my beloved Sensei retiring in January.
Though the school will continue under the tutelage of a new head instructor, I'm not sure what that will mean for my practice personally.
Torch-passing aside, my martial arts goals for next year are to:
• Improve my spinning techniques
• Get more power behind all my kicks
• I really need to continue to improve my sparring (the boxing lessons are helping)
• Need to learn more joint locks. So many more joint locks!!
If I push it, I might be able to test for my 1st Kyu rank at the end of the school year. If not then, then maybe by the end of next year. We'll see.
This year was also the year my father-in-law, Dick passed away (ironically on Independence Day).
Caring for him in his final months was a very powerful and empowering experience for me.
After his passing I was able to reclaim my house (he was living with us for a good portion of last year and all this spring, being mostly bed-bound in the last month he was living at the house).
The coming year will see my husband and I cleaning out the camp that Dick had occupied during the summer months for many, many years.
Since Dick was a hoarder, this will not be a quick or easy process; especially since the camp can only be accessed by boat. Most of our weekends this coming summer will likely be spent on that "little" project.
The other big thing that happened this year was that I participated in my final Sun-Moon Dance. (As in I completed my four-year commitment).
This year's Dance was gentle on me (thankfully) and I was able to really touch and let go of some deep pain I hadn't realized I'd been holding. It was a truly beautiful experience (as it always is).
If I participate in any Dances in the future, it'll be on the support side and I'm curious and excited to pursue that angle of the Dance.
In other news: my business partner really wants to get back into making products for our crafting business. We've both been laying low the past couple years since last year we focused on my wedding and this year I was distracted by caring for Dick and getting my next Karate rank.
Though our business (and sales) has actually grown this year, we really want to get sewn products into our inventory and we're hoping to start making bags this winter and spring.
We're also researching larger venues to sell our wares. It's pretty exciting and scary at the same time!
We both are also very much feeling the itch to belly dance again - another activity that has suffered for the past two years for the same reasons. We're looking into tumbling or adult gymnastics classes to improve our strength and flexibility and to spice up our duet dance routines even more.
On a personal level I'd like to get back into writing. I didn't participate in NaNoWriMo this year and I have no regrets on that front; but I have three projects that are languishing in various states of completion that I'd very much like to return to and guide along their way.
I also keep glancing around the edges of going back to school or getting a different job.
Not that I don't like or even love my present employment - I couldn't ask for a better job! But the pay is miserable. Taking a deep breath and plunging into something new may be in the forecast after the New Year...or not. Time will tell on that front.
So 2015 has been the year of growth.
2016 is slated to be the year of change.
We'll see what the future brings!
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Interview with a Belly Dancer
I've been blogging so much about the martial arts of late that it's easy to forget that I have other hobbies. Of course I've also not been actively participating in many of those other activities lately, so it's not really something that I bring up in conversation too much either. Fortunately my brother, Scott hasn't forgotten.
He's going to school for Communications and one of his class projects involved each student taking turns producing and directing a little ten minute interview-style spot that would stream live on the college's website.
After many ideas fell through, he finally made it down the list to me. It wasn't because he didn't think I'd be a good subject or because he didn't think I'd do it (I'm pretty sure he knew I would); it was because it was on a Tuesday (I'd have to take time off from work) and I live about three hours away.
I was more than happy to participate and was even more excited when he said the topic would be about belly dance.
The whole experience was a lot of fun and something I really enjoyed was the interview questions he had come up with. He got them to me a day or two ahead of time so I could maul them over a little before the show. I have to admit I was rather impressed with the questions!
Since they're not simple "yes" or "no's" though we were only able to get through three or four of the questions during the broadcast. As I really liked the questions and I wasn't able to answer them a thoroughly as I would have liked, I asked his permission to let me answer them in a blog post.
He happily agreed!
Q: First, the easy ones: What is belly dancing? Where does it come from?
A: It's actually not as easy as one would think.
Of course the common consensus is that belly dance originated in the Middle East - especially Egypt; but I've found that any culture old enough to have a tribal or nomadic stage to its history develops some form of belly dance.
So, what is belly dance? You see my costume (a coin bra, baggy harem pants, a long garment called a "ghawazee coat", and a coin belt) and can easily surmise, "Oh, she's a belly dancer." But I can belly dance in sweatpants and a hoodie if I wanted to.
You hear Middle Eastern music and can easily think, "That's belly dance music." But belly dancers love dancing to contemporary music as well because the audience can relate to it more easily.
The movements are very serpentine; either circular or figure-eight in nature; but other styles use similar movements.
To me belly dance is a celebratory art form. It's not about selling sex, though it's very sensual since women are sensual. In fact many people believe its origin was as a dance by women for women to celebrate births, weddings, coming of age, whatever. This holds true today in that many belly dancers actually prefer to perform for other belly dancers. These types of gatherings are called "hafla's".
Q: Of all the styles of dancing out there, what inspired you to become a belly dancer?
A: Three things really drew me to belly dance.
1) It's a solitary style of dance.
Ballroom dancing requires a partner, but belly dance can be done (and practiced) alone. Even when belly dancers perform in a group they rarely touch each other. Each dancer is responsible to know the choreography or to pick up the cues from the leader. It's all on you.
2) It's a highly feminine form of dance.
This was really important to me in the beginning as I was still exploring my personal femininity (I started belly dance a little over ten years ago). I grew up in a very masculine environment and went to school for Computer Animation, which doesn't draw a lot of females. I was also working at a Navy training facility at the time which (understandably so) doesn't have a lot of women present.
Belly dance was one of the girliest activities I could think to do.
3) Who doesn't want to wear pretty, shiny, jingly outfits?
Q: Well and speaking of outfits: where would someone buy something like what you're wearing?
A: The chunky, colorful jewelry that belly dancers love to wear is actually in style at the moment, so I pick up a lot of pieces at department stores.
The garments themselves can be found at local and state fairs as well as Renaissance festivals; but they can also be purchased easily online from places like MissBellyDance.com, TurkishEmporium, and IsisExchange (not a very PC name these days, I know; but remember that Isis is an Egyptian goddess)
For more modern/urban tastes, there's places like TheScarletLounge.
Many dancers make their own garb however. Apart from the coin belt, I made everything I'm wearing. Simplicity makes some superb belly dance costume patterns (as well as many other lovely patterns!)
Q: How do you train to be a belly dancer? Is your training common among other dancers?
A: Usually finding an instructor in your area is just a Google search away these days. You can also check with your local YMCA or yoga studio (for some odd reason yogi's and belly dancers tend to all know each other).
I've studied under three different instructors and have also gone to a handful of workshops, so I can tell you the training is fairly consistent across the board. Classes are obviously not done in full costume, though most of the time students wear a coin belt (it's just more fun if you're making noise). Other than that, sweats or whatever you'd wear to do yoga will work for belly dance class. Typically the teacher stands in front of the class and shows the moves they're teaching that day and everyone follows along.
Some teachers like to teach with mirrors, some don't.
Many teachers with have beginner classes, intermediate/advanced classes as well as troupe/performance classes. You never have to commit to performing in public when signing up for a belly dance class. Some instructors don't even have performance troupes and just teach because it's really great exercise!
Q: How big is the belly dancing community? In this state? This country?
A: In my area (the Capital Region of Upstate NY) there's quite the thriving belly dance community. In a thirty mile radius you have access to no less than three or four teachers of varying styles.
Things may be more sparse or active as one goes through the country though; it's something I don't particularly follow too closely.
I do know that belly dance is a big deal out in California (and the west coast in general) as that's where American Tribal Style originated.
Q: Are there any belly dancing tournaments? Do you participate in any?
A: That's actually one I had to look up.
Belly dance isn't really a competitive sport.
There apparently are belly dance competitions, but they're few and far between. I think they're more of a thing outside of the US.
Certainly you'll find belly dancers performing in local talent shows. America's Got Talent usually has a couple acts come through during the audition phase; but typically local dancers host performances in their area for entertainment only.
Q: Shakira is probably the most famous belly dancer here in America; what are the general thoughts of the dancing community about her style?
A: Oy, is she really the most well known belly dancer in the States? Not Rachel Brice or Zoe Jakes? (Some of the biggest names within the American belly dance scene)
Okay, Shakira's got some great moves, I won't lie (see what I did there? tee-hee); but she mixes hip-hop with her belly dance which easily confuses people into thinking that belly dance is far more sexual than it really is.
I assure you than spreading your legs while straddling a chair is not in the belly dance repertoire. We actually do our best to dance with our legs together thank you very much.
Q: Do you have advice for anyone interested in becoming a belly dancer themselves?
A: Do it.
Do it!
Do it!!!
If you're in an area with several teachers, go find a teacher you like. (Note that there's many styles too and while one style may not resonate with you, another might. No teacher should ever get defensive if you ask what style she teaches.)
If your choices are slim or non-existent, you can actually learn a fair bit on youTube or from a DVD; but it's really not a true substitute for learning from a real person. The posture is very important and a video won't be able to tell you that your hips aren't tucked, your knees are locked, or that your shoulders are slouching.
Belly dance is such an empowering form of feminine expression. It's also a pretty fun and kick-ass workout. If you're even remotely interested, I highly recommend giving it a try!
He's going to school for Communications and one of his class projects involved each student taking turns producing and directing a little ten minute interview-style spot that would stream live on the college's website.
After many ideas fell through, he finally made it down the list to me. It wasn't because he didn't think I'd be a good subject or because he didn't think I'd do it (I'm pretty sure he knew I would); it was because it was on a Tuesday (I'd have to take time off from work) and I live about three hours away.
I was more than happy to participate and was even more excited when he said the topic would be about belly dance.
The whole experience was a lot of fun and something I really enjoyed was the interview questions he had come up with. He got them to me a day or two ahead of time so I could maul them over a little before the show. I have to admit I was rather impressed with the questions!
Since they're not simple "yes" or "no's" though we were only able to get through three or four of the questions during the broadcast. As I really liked the questions and I wasn't able to answer them a thoroughly as I would have liked, I asked his permission to let me answer them in a blog post.
He happily agreed!
Q: First, the easy ones: What is belly dancing? Where does it come from?
A: It's actually not as easy as one would think.
Of course the common consensus is that belly dance originated in the Middle East - especially Egypt; but I've found that any culture old enough to have a tribal or nomadic stage to its history develops some form of belly dance.
So, what is belly dance? You see my costume (a coin bra, baggy harem pants, a long garment called a "ghawazee coat", and a coin belt) and can easily surmise, "Oh, she's a belly dancer." But I can belly dance in sweatpants and a hoodie if I wanted to.
You hear Middle Eastern music and can easily think, "That's belly dance music." But belly dancers love dancing to contemporary music as well because the audience can relate to it more easily.
The movements are very serpentine; either circular or figure-eight in nature; but other styles use similar movements.
To me belly dance is a celebratory art form. It's not about selling sex, though it's very sensual since women are sensual. In fact many people believe its origin was as a dance by women for women to celebrate births, weddings, coming of age, whatever. This holds true today in that many belly dancers actually prefer to perform for other belly dancers. These types of gatherings are called "hafla's".
Q: Of all the styles of dancing out there, what inspired you to become a belly dancer?
A: Three things really drew me to belly dance.
1) It's a solitary style of dance.
Ballroom dancing requires a partner, but belly dance can be done (and practiced) alone. Even when belly dancers perform in a group they rarely touch each other. Each dancer is responsible to know the choreography or to pick up the cues from the leader. It's all on you.
2) It's a highly feminine form of dance.
This was really important to me in the beginning as I was still exploring my personal femininity (I started belly dance a little over ten years ago). I grew up in a very masculine environment and went to school for Computer Animation, which doesn't draw a lot of females. I was also working at a Navy training facility at the time which (understandably so) doesn't have a lot of women present.
Belly dance was one of the girliest activities I could think to do.
3) Who doesn't want to wear pretty, shiny, jingly outfits?
Q: Well and speaking of outfits: where would someone buy something like what you're wearing?
A: The chunky, colorful jewelry that belly dancers love to wear is actually in style at the moment, so I pick up a lot of pieces at department stores.
The garments themselves can be found at local and state fairs as well as Renaissance festivals; but they can also be purchased easily online from places like MissBellyDance.com, TurkishEmporium, and IsisExchange (not a very PC name these days, I know; but remember that Isis is an Egyptian goddess)
For more modern/urban tastes, there's places like TheScarletLounge.
Many dancers make their own garb however. Apart from the coin belt, I made everything I'm wearing. Simplicity makes some superb belly dance costume patterns (as well as many other lovely patterns!)
Q: How do you train to be a belly dancer? Is your training common among other dancers?
A: Usually finding an instructor in your area is just a Google search away these days. You can also check with your local YMCA or yoga studio (for some odd reason yogi's and belly dancers tend to all know each other).
I've studied under three different instructors and have also gone to a handful of workshops, so I can tell you the training is fairly consistent across the board. Classes are obviously not done in full costume, though most of the time students wear a coin belt (it's just more fun if you're making noise). Other than that, sweats or whatever you'd wear to do yoga will work for belly dance class. Typically the teacher stands in front of the class and shows the moves they're teaching that day and everyone follows along.
Some teachers like to teach with mirrors, some don't.
Many teachers with have beginner classes, intermediate/advanced classes as well as troupe/performance classes. You never have to commit to performing in public when signing up for a belly dance class. Some instructors don't even have performance troupes and just teach because it's really great exercise!
Q: How big is the belly dancing community? In this state? This country?
A: In my area (the Capital Region of Upstate NY) there's quite the thriving belly dance community. In a thirty mile radius you have access to no less than three or four teachers of varying styles.
Things may be more sparse or active as one goes through the country though; it's something I don't particularly follow too closely.
I do know that belly dance is a big deal out in California (and the west coast in general) as that's where American Tribal Style originated.
Q: Are there any belly dancing tournaments? Do you participate in any?
A: That's actually one I had to look up.
Belly dance isn't really a competitive sport.
There apparently are belly dance competitions, but they're few and far between. I think they're more of a thing outside of the US.
Certainly you'll find belly dancers performing in local talent shows. America's Got Talent usually has a couple acts come through during the audition phase; but typically local dancers host performances in their area for entertainment only.
Q: Shakira is probably the most famous belly dancer here in America; what are the general thoughts of the dancing community about her style?
A: Oy, is she really the most well known belly dancer in the States? Not Rachel Brice or Zoe Jakes? (Some of the biggest names within the American belly dance scene)
Okay, Shakira's got some great moves, I won't lie (see what I did there? tee-hee); but she mixes hip-hop with her belly dance which easily confuses people into thinking that belly dance is far more sexual than it really is.
I assure you than spreading your legs while straddling a chair is not in the belly dance repertoire. We actually do our best to dance with our legs together thank you very much.
Q: Do you have advice for anyone interested in becoming a belly dancer themselves?
A: Do it.
Do it!
Do it!!!
If you're in an area with several teachers, go find a teacher you like. (Note that there's many styles too and while one style may not resonate with you, another might. No teacher should ever get defensive if you ask what style she teaches.)
If your choices are slim or non-existent, you can actually learn a fair bit on youTube or from a DVD; but it's really not a true substitute for learning from a real person. The posture is very important and a video won't be able to tell you that your hips aren't tucked, your knees are locked, or that your shoulders are slouching.
Belly dance is such an empowering form of feminine expression. It's also a pretty fun and kick-ass workout. If you're even remotely interested, I highly recommend giving it a try!
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Taking the Next Step (Martial Arts-Related)
I tested for and achieved my next rank in Karate at the end of October.
It was the culmination of a lot of hard work and I feel much better about how I did on this test than the last one.
So now I'm 2nd Kyu. In the system I'm going through, this is second degree brown belt. I'm now two ranks away from black belt. Woo-hoo!
Also at the end of October (the last Friday to be precise) was open sparring at our sister dojo.
Anyone of all levels is welcome to attend and though this has been going on for the last Friday of every month for as long as I've been studying Karate, I'd never attended for various reasons.
What made this one special was the Sensei at that dojo is moving away and is handing it over to another instructor. The sparring session in October would be the last chance to spar with this incredible martial artist. Unable to pass up such an opportunity, I made every effort to go and I had fun!
After the sparring, the instructor who'll be taking over had his usual Tai Chi class (which is every Friday). As Tai Chi is my first martial arts love and he was a fellow classmate when I was learning all those years ago, I asked if I could stay for his class.
Sure.
Great!
And so I was reminded yet again how very much I love Tai Chi. The slower movements allow for more deliberate breathing and an easier feel of the energy flows (at least for me). Oh it was great!
It was a smallish class: less than ten people; but they were all at different spots in the form. This posed (an apparently long-standing) problem for the instructor because after the warm-up he had to split everyone up into groups based on what point they were at. He'd show one group their next move, then move to the next group and the next group and so on; dividing his time between three or four groups. If you forgot the move you were supposed to be working on (in part or in full), you'd have to wait till he came back around to your group.
Because I hadn't been in a Tai Chi class for over six years, I couldn't be terribly helpful to the group I was put with. I remembered some of the form with little to no effort on my part, but other sections were just like they were new.
Still, this situation perked my ears.
I like Tai Chi...a lot. I'd love to do it again, but I've already learned the short form (and the long form, and the sword form), I've just fallen out of practice.
Coming back as a student would seem silly. It'd all come back to me in probably a month's worth of classes and that'd be all I'd need. Though learning is a fractal process and there's always more to learn, my main focus presently is Karate.
However, seeing how he had to divide his time so much made me wonder if maybe I could be part of the solution here!
What if I came on as an assistant instructor?
I'd get my Tai Chi fix and he'd get help with the students.
It sounds rather simple and obvious, but I kid you not, this was a big mental and emotional step for me.
I've always been a student.
Always.
Yoga, belly dance, Tai Chi, whatever activity: I'm always the passive learner.
Yes, I've been an assistant instructor at Karate for well over a year now; but that's just par for the course. As soon as a brown belt is tied around your waist, no matter your age or how long you've been studying, you're automatically tossed right in and expected to be able to run warm-ups and help the lower ranks with their katas. Better hope you can count in Japanese by this point (most people can), and that you can break down the first kata into pieces new students can absorb!
Though you're now teaching others (and I'm don't mean to short-change this process, because you really do learn by teaching!), it's still from the passive student perspective: I've been told to do this so I am doing it.
Now I was reaching out and stepping into a more active role.
I honestly struggled with this paradigm shift for over two weeks.
Could I do it?
Could I handle the responsibility?
Was I being too arrogant in wanting to ask in the first place? (Remember I haven't touched Tai Chi in over six years!)
Finally I took the plunge and just asked.
I explained that I obviously wasn't qualified to teach the subtler nuances of the form, but with a little refresher, I'd be more than capable of showing students the correct hand and foot positions.
He was interested and willing to give it a go.
I was on cloud nine!
Holy cow! I was going to (assistant) teach!!
How freaking awesome!
And so for this past week leading up to the class last night I went through the opening moves of the form on my own; trying to dredge up what once had flowed so effortlessly and naturally.
I was happy to find after some trial and error that I could comfortably recall the first eight moves (out of 60).
I showed up last night a little early and he ran me through those eight moves, gently correctly my six years of rust and explaining how he articulates the movements verbally to students. Then off we went!
I will admit: this first class wasn't pretty.
After warm-ups he handed me over to his newest students who are only five or six moves in.
I bumbled so much - teaching a move in the incorrect order; moving on to the next part of the form a little too quickly for them; forgetting to talk through some of the foot positions. But the two people I was working with were so understanding and forgiving and just happy to have an instructor with them the whole time to keep repeating with them the same opening moves over and over. And oh man did I learn so much last night!
I'm humbled, but still excited.
There's still so much to do and learn, but I have at least taken the next step in my martial arts practice and I couldn't be happier!
It was the culmination of a lot of hard work and I feel much better about how I did on this test than the last one.
So now I'm 2nd Kyu. In the system I'm going through, this is second degree brown belt. I'm now two ranks away from black belt. Woo-hoo!
Also at the end of October (the last Friday to be precise) was open sparring at our sister dojo.
Anyone of all levels is welcome to attend and though this has been going on for the last Friday of every month for as long as I've been studying Karate, I'd never attended for various reasons.
What made this one special was the Sensei at that dojo is moving away and is handing it over to another instructor. The sparring session in October would be the last chance to spar with this incredible martial artist. Unable to pass up such an opportunity, I made every effort to go and I had fun!
After the sparring, the instructor who'll be taking over had his usual Tai Chi class (which is every Friday). As Tai Chi is my first martial arts love and he was a fellow classmate when I was learning all those years ago, I asked if I could stay for his class.
Sure.
Great!
And so I was reminded yet again how very much I love Tai Chi. The slower movements allow for more deliberate breathing and an easier feel of the energy flows (at least for me). Oh it was great!
It was a smallish class: less than ten people; but they were all at different spots in the form. This posed (an apparently long-standing) problem for the instructor because after the warm-up he had to split everyone up into groups based on what point they were at. He'd show one group their next move, then move to the next group and the next group and so on; dividing his time between three or four groups. If you forgot the move you were supposed to be working on (in part or in full), you'd have to wait till he came back around to your group.
Because I hadn't been in a Tai Chi class for over six years, I couldn't be terribly helpful to the group I was put with. I remembered some of the form with little to no effort on my part, but other sections were just like they were new.
Still, this situation perked my ears.
I like Tai Chi...a lot. I'd love to do it again, but I've already learned the short form (and the long form, and the sword form), I've just fallen out of practice.
Coming back as a student would seem silly. It'd all come back to me in probably a month's worth of classes and that'd be all I'd need. Though learning is a fractal process and there's always more to learn, my main focus presently is Karate.
However, seeing how he had to divide his time so much made me wonder if maybe I could be part of the solution here!
What if I came on as an assistant instructor?
I'd get my Tai Chi fix and he'd get help with the students.
It sounds rather simple and obvious, but I kid you not, this was a big mental and emotional step for me.
I've always been a student.
Always.
Yoga, belly dance, Tai Chi, whatever activity: I'm always the passive learner.
Yes, I've been an assistant instructor at Karate for well over a year now; but that's just par for the course. As soon as a brown belt is tied around your waist, no matter your age or how long you've been studying, you're automatically tossed right in and expected to be able to run warm-ups and help the lower ranks with their katas. Better hope you can count in Japanese by this point (most people can), and that you can break down the first kata into pieces new students can absorb!
Though you're now teaching others (and I'm don't mean to short-change this process, because you really do learn by teaching!), it's still from the passive student perspective: I've been told to do this so I am doing it.
Now I was reaching out and stepping into a more active role.
I honestly struggled with this paradigm shift for over two weeks.
Could I do it?
Could I handle the responsibility?
Was I being too arrogant in wanting to ask in the first place? (Remember I haven't touched Tai Chi in over six years!)
Finally I took the plunge and just asked.
I explained that I obviously wasn't qualified to teach the subtler nuances of the form, but with a little refresher, I'd be more than capable of showing students the correct hand and foot positions.
He was interested and willing to give it a go.
I was on cloud nine!
Holy cow! I was going to (assistant) teach!!
How freaking awesome!
And so for this past week leading up to the class last night I went through the opening moves of the form on my own; trying to dredge up what once had flowed so effortlessly and naturally.
I was happy to find after some trial and error that I could comfortably recall the first eight moves (out of 60).
I showed up last night a little early and he ran me through those eight moves, gently correctly my six years of rust and explaining how he articulates the movements verbally to students. Then off we went!
I will admit: this first class wasn't pretty.
After warm-ups he handed me over to his newest students who are only five or six moves in.
I bumbled so much - teaching a move in the incorrect order; moving on to the next part of the form a little too quickly for them; forgetting to talk through some of the foot positions. But the two people I was working with were so understanding and forgiving and just happy to have an instructor with them the whole time to keep repeating with them the same opening moves over and over. And oh man did I learn so much last night!
I'm humbled, but still excited.
There's still so much to do and learn, but I have at least taken the next step in my martial arts practice and I couldn't be happier!
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